Just around the river bend...

 

 We have developed quite the little commune at our house, as both me and my sister have moved back home with my mum and dad and 2 dogs, and my grandma and grandad and uncle all live in a hand built 'nook' above a river at the bottom of the garden, with their 4 shitzus. Plus not forgetting Jo and her daughter Becky next door, who up until recently had 2 dogs also.

We are a family of simple things, nice dinners together with some cider and a few old records- and of course the dogs play as much a part in our 'simple' lives as we do.

  

So when we found one of my grandparents dogs had drowned in the pond yesterday, you can imagine the heartache that quickly flowed through all our houses, especially my grandparents.

Now, myself and all of my family are firm believers in that things happen for a reason- but at times like that its hard not to question why, or beat yourself up for not being there.

Still for me the oddest thing was that as I have mentioned my grandparents live above a river, and the pond that separates our house from theirs (the one that buster was found in) is as easy to jump into as the river just over the wall. Yet still it was the shallow pond that took him, not the rocky, streaming river.

I can not honestly describe the emotions that have been felt recently by all, not just because of buster, but in general. And not all of these feelings are bad, we can entertain ourselves on a day to day basis, walking (the rest of) the dogs, making dinner etc, and on the most we all look happy- yet it seems that there is an underlying feeling of, what I can only describe as nothingness- 

Like we too our drowning, but in ourselves.

One of my favourite films ever is Pocahontas, and those who have seen it will be familiar with the song 'just around the river bend' where she has to choose between the 'steady' route or the winding river- and of course she chooses the windings river, as you would think we all would. But on a daily basis it is surprising how often I find myself sitting in my very own still pond. 

Stillness itself is wonderful and much needed sometimes, but I feel Buster has taught me a great lesson here as I often find myself drowning when there is constantly nothing moving... nothing flowing.

Pocahontas sings: 'what i love most about rivers is, you can't step in the same river twice- the water's always changing always flowing.' And looking over the wall, I feel almost jealous of the fish meandering down the river next to me.

You see I, like most, have always been taught to do what I love and follow my dreams, and I 100% believe this to be true for every single person on this planet- yet so many of us sit in our little ponds, waiting for the river to find us, and instead we find ourselves drowning.

So I don't know about you, but next time I go outside, instead of sliding into the familiar pond, I might take a moment for Buster and hop over the unsteady wall and let the river take me to my next adventure that awaits... just around the river bend.

Leap.